My ultimate desire as a child was to grow up and work! Without an idea, goal, wonderment of the path all that mattered was to wear swanky clothes and go off to work. It looked beautiful. Now that I’m finally there, it’s equally significant!! It’s obviously not the same child brain but I walk with a feeling of pride. I am at a place where I’ve wished to be but someone has rightly said, to get what you want is the biggest curse! I understand that now! It’s easier when you’re at an early stage of life as that’s when you know I need to ‘atleast’ reach here. Now that I am, what else now? It’s having to make a whole new set of dreams all over again. It’s scary sometimes as the the place I felt may feel the best always, it honestly does not! It’s not the same everyday. However, while I stayed with this feeling for a while, I realise it’s absolutely okay as this stagnation makes me want to do something else, something more. You’re still doing great!! It’s not sad, it’s healing and it’s a part of the journey for growth. We may not know now but we eventually will because if we made it till here, we’re surely someone who’d want to keep going. 🙂
Category: Uncategorized
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Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?
A mishap led me to shift my place of residence back in 2016. It was a whole new world altogether. With twirling emotions, unexplained anxiety and a tad bit of excitement I started my life here. With everything now in place, I believe this instance brought a steep shift in the person I am today. A person completely acceptable of alot around me and being ok with the NOW. My first job was here and as much as I believe it was my breakthrough, it was a disaster. I acknowledge it may have had my input but it doesn’t matter anymore. I understand why I didn’t take any ‘ACTION TO FIX’ the situation because it was supposed to happen that way. May or may not, today I never wish to change any decision taken. Imagining what may have happened if I took a different shot is unpredictable and I’m sure that space would’ve also been beautiful!!
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After months of anticipation, I receive a call from a company I was batting for. It’s a first in life when all I could feel before the interview was joy and excitement. I did not worry if I’d get it or not but just focused on what I’m asked to do. Fortunately, the profile required a skill I possess for quite some time now. Another day and I may know my future with the company. It’s fun to feel how wonderful it maybe to do something I know. It may turn out a blessing or a revelation to strive for something larger for the future. I eagerly look forward to what the universe conspires and as always, I trust it forever.
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The human mind is built in a way that it demands closure. It demands an explanation in order to calm a situation. Many of us however make ourselves comfortable that sometimes we may not have answers. This realization came to me in a rather fun way. I came across a show called “Unsolved Mysteries” which apparently has been an appealingly unsettling series loved by many. A show that portrays the mysterious world of disappearances and homicides. We’re used to being shown as to what happened at the end but this show leaves you bewildered. True stories that lead to nowhere yet I’d be watching another episode. Unsolved and unanswered but mind bogged instances that have happened around the world. Maybe sometimes answers are not important but only the instance holds matter.
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It’s been a long time. These days were not capable of being put into words. Writing is my peace but I was exploring and observing. I learnt patience and pain in one instance. From the past few months I’ve been trying to bag a job and have not received something favourable. In the beginning that brought anxiousness and depression. I knew ultimately with this approach I was bound to go insane so I found out something and decided to change my vision. I keep applying but without any expectation of the outcome. Yes, we expect a revert but we don’t know which is going to be the one. Obviously everyone wouldn’t accept you. 😛 So might as well just keep doing it and it’ll lead us to the one. I still apply each day and don’t worry what people or norms say. We all need a thought that prevents us from going crazy over anything so if you can’t find one, build anything. We always have a choice. Either sulk or sail. We aren’t getting any younger so let’s make each day fruitful. 🙂
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It’s been quite some time since I shared a piece of myself. The past few days were a fairy tale. I felt so much altogether. Emotions I never knew I’d feel. I thought I had it all. Maybe later in life but I didn’t know it would be so soon. My heart sank and was joyous at the same time. How wonderful it is to see you have everything you ever dreamt of. I felt like a princess in a bubble. Only if time could stop right there. It was a piece of my soul I knew I had to let go. I loved it so much but it couldn’t stay. It’s been hard to recover from that dream. It came and left in a blink. A constant struggle to let go but someday it’ll be okay because it may have a purpose. Healing sometimes is heavier than the hurt. After all this, I’m truly grateful to the universe that if not everlasting, I had the privilege to feel it in this life. It’s a memory that shall stay alive till my last breath. :’)
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Each day, I wish to do more than just thank the universe for what it has made me today. Only if I’d known the magic it spreads, I’d worship it much sooner. My relationships in life have been stressed, always. It was some curse that didn’t want to break. Failure, heart breaks and trauma embedded in every connection. It was so much that was enough to make me stone cold. However, I am truly grateful that the power of giving and loving immensely never left my soul. It lead me to a contentment that I could never imagine. Empathy and sensitivity towards another felt stronger than before. It’s well reciprocated and valued today. I am thankful I was thought to be worthy. Each day I am loyal to the feeling and that’s it, that’s where the magic starts. It’s heavy to be selfless but TRUST, if not sooner, it will definitely pay off. The right energy will find you fix like a jigsaw. 🙂
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We’ve always heard that nobody has been able to determine the true purpose of life. All of us have varying views on that. Some decide for their own and some follow the ideas already laid down ( again by humans ). With my age I understand I’m yet to face many hardships of life, the one’s that the world calls “real” problems but as far as its my journey, I’ll call it a roller coaster. Also the one’s with sharp turns and that stop upside down. That’s the real purpose for me. The first turn prepares us for the second. We may not be fully prepared but we’re aware it’s coming. Each turn has a different emotion vetted. I realised that we’re alone even if we have people on it with us. The aim is to not achieve something material but to hold on tight and believe it’s fun rather than frightening. We’ll go all over again. Just a simple belief that we created, it changed our minds. Everything gravitates to us we don’t need to chase anything. 😉
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It’s beautiful how sometimes just a belief of something can change a situation’s outcome. All my life I struggled because I had a pre-planned result. Be it school results or someone’s reaction to something. I missed opportunities as I before hand was living in the outcome which hadn’t even taken place. That’s because we’ve been taught to be careful and not carefree. So to tackle this, I was introduced to the idea to surrender. Whatever has to happen will happen. With a pure intention, any situation can change, the deal is to make it happen first without thinking about the end-result. This practice was life-altering. :’)
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It’s a blessing how the little things around us can brighten up our day without even trying. The blessing is the value of it that we hold in our hearts. It’s the clouds for me. Any shape, color, either day or night, they bring me tears of joy. Effortlessly by just doing what they do, they trigger a sense of appreciation. Looking up at them smiling back, the kid in me jumps with glee. With hardly any weight, they own the entire sky. Strangely something so high above keeps me grounded always. :’)
CosmoBox 